Somebody's Me...

It happens so many times that you really don’t know what you want to do or what you are meant to do…or what will give you some happiness. Here I m not talking of something that you do once in a while, or just once for fun or whatever. What I mean is things that will define you. Define you as a person. Define what you will be known for…Well… I don’t know how many times it happens for others, but for me!! Well this is what I guess has always happened. And then I find someone who knows it all. Not for himself, but for me. It seems someone knows me in much better way than me myself. Sounds rubbish?? Well its not…

I often wonder what people know about me… or what people know me for..

Well this post is dedicated to one of my best friend…who has played a BIG BIG role in making me what I am. It's not about the basic habits that I have but about few of the major decisions of my life or some of the things I never knew for myself, I would like but have now become my life…

Whether it has been some small things or some big things I ‘ve done…he has always been there.. Guiding me.. Forcing me to better myself always..

I am proud of the fact that I‘ve followed him in my life…did what he did..coz that has always worked well for me as well…

He is Nishith….

Thanks a lot buddy for being there always...and guiding me in whatever I did!!!

My First love!!

I still remember the day when one of my closest friends introduced me to her. That moment is still frozen in my mind, and I am very sure it is going to be there with me for the rest of my life. Every moment of my life which I have lived after that moment, I have thanked my friend, for introducing me to my first love.

Well to introduce her to you all would not be a simple task for me. Coz if I try to explain her physical attributes, like she was slim, she had a wonderful voice blah blah…well everyone who is in love will tell u the same thing about the one with whom he/ she is in love with. It was much deeper bond that we shared. It was a kind of feeling which I had never experienced in my life ever!! And probably words won’t be able to express them all as beautifully as they are supposed to…

I wouldn’t say that we started to get along nicely from the first day. First few days were hard for me. Really. Either I wasn’t treating her properly, or she was hurting me every time I was with her. Literally hurting me.. Well I guess it’s the same with every relation in this world as well. Everything gets smooth only when a proper understanding has developed.

But to tell you the truth, from the moment I first felt her, I knew I cannot live without her. I knew that whatever problems we face in our journey, will eventually fade away and we will share a bond which will be inseparable come what may.

If I tell you the first few days, I know u all will really start thinking if I really did all this what I am writing here.. I used to get up early in the morning and run to her place, just to spend some time with her before college. I m sure I wud have bunked a few days of college as well (cant remember 100% as it has been a long time). I used to think about her when I was in my room, I used to think about her when I was in college, I used to think about her when I was with friends in some party. I just craved to be with her all the time. It was like, someone has fed my brain with just one thought. There was nothing else I cud think of. All this might be sounding a bit funny and kiddish, I know. But I tel u guys, If someone has ever fallen in love, only he / she can understand how it feels. I wud say the scene from Shahrukh Khan’s movie “Main Hun Na” where everytime he sees his lady love, there are violins everwhere holds true J Atleast for me ;-)

Well moving forward now, as time went by we got even more comfortable in each others company and I was falling deeply in love with her with each passing day and each passing moment spent with her.

Life moved on, I left college and joined TCS ILP. There she was again accompanying me all the time. Everyday I used to come back from hectic day in training to find solace in her. We didn’t get much time together there all coz of the frantic schedule I had to follow there. Anyways those two months there were good and people used to envy me ;-)

Life in Pune after ILP was again chaotic!!! I hardly got time for myself!! Forget her!! Feel like kicking all of MSN guys for this!! Now here came a slump in our relation. I got busy with all the so called important stuff!! Job…whereas she was waiting for me everyday at home, hoping patiently that I ll come back and spend time with her. But never did I. I was so weary that I just used to come home and go straight into bed. Come on guys!! When u are getting 6 hrs a day for urself, what will you do?? Sleep or spend time with someone?? Well this continued for quiet long. 3-4 months probably. Work 18 hrs a day, come back home, sleep for 6 hrs, get back to work!!

And I still regret not spending much time with her in those days. Really I do…Coz I believe that would have bene the time when our bond could have grown stronger. But it didn’t happen. Infact, I got so much engrossed in Job and my MBA chase (which I cud not complete) that I could not spend as much time with her as I wud have wanted..
Even then, I used to be with her whnever I felt the need of her, I wanted to be with her. So it was never like we were not in touch for long. Coz we cud not stay away from each other for long J

Time flew. Months turned to years…Years to multiple of them. Now today as I m writing this (Sorry typing this J) it has been more than 3 yrs since we have been together J

One fine day in office I was told that I ve to travel out of India for a project!! What now!!! What will I do?? How things will continue?? 1000 question popping in my mind just as pop up windows in rediff site!! Just that I was not able to apply a pop-up blocker in my mind!!!

Time to make a decision!!! Should I take her along with me? Should I leave her back in India? How will I survive there without her? Whom wil I go to whn I need peace?? And to make things worse I finally figured out that it was not possible for me to take her along with me…

Someone who has always been there next to me, wil be no more with me…and I don’t know for how long. 1 yr?? 2 yrs??

Every so often it happens that you don’t realize the importance of something in your life until u don’t have that with u…and once u absorb finally that something is missing, u feel a void in your life!!

This void I felt on the day when I was supposed to travel to Dublin. I had never imagined that not being with her will make me feel so restless that every moment I wud crave to be with her..

I could not stay away fom love for long!! You see everyone needs love in his/her life…and cant stay away from that for long. And especially loneliness and distance from loved ones makes you do all sorts of weird things. You come across something/someone new and interesting and then you start realizing that what!! This is much better than what I ever had in my life!! And then you don’t miss ur older days and start loving ur present. Well I don’t know if it’s a common phenomenon but yeah it happened with me…

I found someone new here, which took me away from my first love!! And I started feeling that…. Wow!!! This is much better than what I had earlier in my life!!! and I was happier than ever..Reliving all the beautiful moments, which I have been lucky enough to experience once!!

People say I look good with her. I try to be good to her always (There is always scope for improvement in this area ;-) ), and make her realize her beauty. I try not to disappoint her ever.

When I compare my first love to second..I can see many differences…I mean physical differences..voice, beauty etc etc….But there is one thing in common which made me fall in love again!!

Both of them have a set of Six strings!!!